Day Thirty

A closing picture and something of which you are proud.



"Marriage has a bonsai energy: It's a tree in a pot with trimmed roots and clipped limbs. Mind you, bonsai can live for centuries, and their unearthly beauty is a direct result of such constriction, but nobody would ever mistake a bonsai for a free-climbing vine."
-Committed By Elizabeth Gilbert

On the morning my dad drove Dan and I to the airport to fly 3,000 miles away from everyone and everything we knew to make a life in New York City, he gave us a bit of advice. Recently engaged and about to live together for the first time, my wise father told us that "marriage starts now". Long before a walk down the aisle to speak those timeless vows, one's marriage has already begun. Learning how to communicate about your partnership and how to navigate the waves of life together sets the foundation for a good marriage. Essentially by the time you reach the altar, if you aren't "married", most likely you never will be.

I agree with my dad for many reasons, the most important being that I can feel the truth in his advice. Setting up house in a new city while simultaneously riding the "first year out of college/what do I do with my life" rollercoaster has been many things. Exciting. Terrifying. Emotional. Fun. Hilarious. Trying. Stressful. Illuminating. There was a time right around our one year anniversary of being engaged that Dan and I were not in a good place. Quite frankly, we were in a confusing place. We felt we were trying to fit a future wedding into the lives of two people who, while they loved each other very much, were still finding their place in this world. Times were tough. We were scared; of each other and of ourselves. But with the support of our families and closest friends, we gently pulled ourselves out of the darkness and tried to begin anew.

I am proud of us for not giving up on ourselves during that time and also for finding the courage to be honest with one another. We have grown so much as a couple and as individuals since then and it feels good knowing we're getting back on the track we originally set out on. I am proud of the work we continue to put into our relationship and I know that whenever we do have a wedding, our marriage will have already begun.